A Silent Call for Completion

The Angels flew to America
when Homer finished his tale
of Virgil's Lost Paradise....

what to cling to
what to infest
when the very air throughout the land
has bent sucked out by the exodus of angels.
the cold-
the cold-
the utter cold
finds itself without a host.
the body of Buddha
the blood of Kenya
and my depleted nomadic soul:
diasporic in form
and misshapen in name
in this city alone
this city la.

what occurs at the end
when there is no such thing.
does the thing end there
or does it keep on thinging.

my dradle dradle dradle
i willed it out of snow
dradle dradle dradle
GLORY TO GOD?
...no.

i know that you know
that we know it too.
and bahahahahahahahaha
lol jk the status says that i am through.

my world, the world turned 21 today
and it only makes sense that i can use this phone
to check what meal my comrade in Munich
will on this night
on this night
on this very christmas night

i digress and redress and must return to why,
no not for Donne
or Marvell or for the Queen on High
but for you and you and you and you and you you and you

the end is where i was
and i am moving once more
for where i will be, well let that be
for now.

we must decide, tonight or today
the fate of our fate and the way in which
this coin will land once
it has stopped
its insistent and grinchy spin.

L A oh yes L.A. L.a. l.A
the cold- the chill -
the green leaves waving apathetically
in the airless polluted skies.

the unrealist city of ever there is.
the dreamland of all-
after the penultimate one-
there lies the desert, and the ocean in one
with the spotlights aglow
and the streets paved with stars
and the footsteps that echo in the ears
of zombies, strolling light heartedly.

the flowers were picked (by Rechy im sure)
and the vallies of mayflowers have been
completely ignored. from april to june
we seek only one thing.
the coming of our savior,
the sun the sun the sun

now we stand on the cusp of the shore
where death meets night and the light is no more
the gulls soar and to the west as well,
in search of those perfect angels,
who left when Jimmy Dean crashed his cig
and misses Wood
drowned her pain in a bottle o' jack.

to follow the gulls
to put it in reverse.

back to the east? -
to that permanent terminal of new york city
to the eternally bright isle
and the middle ages of lore.
to the shewolf on the hill, feeding the sons of adam.
to alex and his firm friend,
and plato at the gates to the cave up above.

or
or
how many ors do we have left?

or do we sail, across to the past.
follow the gulls to rejoin the caste?

a circle is a circle
and earth spins one way
and so today we spin on
never looking back.

either the rapture or the slam
of a dime long since spun
will come or come and come again.
or- unless-
but again, i digress.

When Homer finished his tale
of Virgil's Lost Paradise,
the Angels flew
to
America....

A Life of Purpose

the world of a great poetic dramatist is a world in which the creator is everywhere present, and everywhere hidden. -t.s. eliot

The business of art is quite intriguing in itself.
Not just the study and creation of art but the art of the artist and his justification for creation is utterly crucial to the history and future of the human species.

Why write?....
Why draw?....
For fun....for money (haha, i know right?)...for others.

This post might be utterly impossible to create from a totally objective point of view as I aspire to work as an author and I find not greater pleasure than picking up an old book....flipping through the brittle pages....softly taking in the scent of thousands of hands of minutes that have passed through it.
However, i will do my best... for all you math/science/business majors. you crazies.
;)

'To be or not to be'
all of you in your heads just finished the given statement with 'that is the question'.
Have you thought about it, though?
Is that really the question?
Is Shakespeare's character Prince Hamlet posing (to himself and 'us') the quintessential canvas on which we all base our daily lives?
What is the point of living?
Who do we live for? Why suffer the real life challenges of day to day life (and yes, there are many...whoever you are) just...because.

Many turn to religion. Tribes of the earliest human beings came up with a seemingly most logical answer: god. Surely, all of this could not have been an accident. The rolling emerald hills New Zealand....the soft yet firm blades of straw that blow silently throughout the African tundras.... the pristine and almost mirror like snowcapped mountains of the Himalayas. all on accident?... absurd.

God.

THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT RELIGION.... IM JUST GETTING TO MY POINT

Through breakthroughs in science and technology and even more astounding in the invention of 'free thought' have led many of our species to utilize a more intrinsic eye. Looking, not to god, but to self.

I have no intention of posting my religious views here...but here is my point:

I write to be. These simple words are my most useful tools in letting you, the reader, connect with me....see whats in my mind or soul if youd rather.

We all are doing the same thing every day: surviving. It may not be heroic. It may not seem hard. But we are all surviving.

I have established my reason for being.

Not for god....not for science... but because, however it happened, the point is it did.
I could undo it. I could end it. But how pointless.

I will leave a legacy. I will leave a footprint.
My name will not be forgot when I have died.

People will flip through books with words that have come from within me.
They will feel me and I will connect with them...

My overall, complete reason for living: to not become not

in more ways than the obvious

My Chance. Make It Count.

Tommy....Don't be scared. It's me....it's you. Just a bit older. I don't want to fill you in on too many secrets of your future. Besides, I only know what the next two years hold for you. I wont sya anything but this. You did it. You got into UCLA. You achieved your goal, and guess what....you have the chance to attend. Yes, I know... completely shocking but you didnt. Well, I can't tell you how. That is for you to find out on your own...what matters is that you did it. You chose the right friends....picked the correct paths...and managed to pick yourself up many times. You won a lot...and you learned a lot. Well that is all I have time for. Now...sleep a little easier. Still try your best and never give up. Your future will surprise you but remember who you have to support you. This is your chance. Make it count.
Oh and Tommy.... tomorrow at school...tell your friends you love them. Hug Heidi a little tigher....look Rene in the eye for one more moment....and listen more carefully to Erin.
Good luck.

Racing in Circles

Yahoo! News ran an article tonight titled "Openly gay athlete wins gold medal"

Really.....

As if sexual orientation has anything to do with athletic ability.

why are they treating it like it is some sort of huge, earth shaking issue?
imagine it bein g some other minority in that headline...
people would be furious.

but no...if a gay man wins a gold medal than it must be some sort of unique, once in a lifetime expirence.

what the fuck year are we in, people!?!?!?!

in high school, so many of our varsity athletes were closeted homosexuals (beleive me, i know).
The only difference is that this diver happened to be 'out'.

Fuck it.


I understand a large portion of the LBGTQ community is proud and smiling tonight becuase of this win. And that is fine (just as it is fine for a nation to be proud of a winning representative)...but the fact that it's national news that a gay man won a gold is....beyond me.

this isnt because of my sexual orientation (as i have none)
this is because i am a human being who was brought up to believe that we live in a nation of equality for all.

grow up.

Isla Vista, California

Last night....

Last night I had a very interesting night in terms of any sort of symbolic/allegorical moments I was hoping to have in regards to my last weekend living in Isla Vista.
I went to a party at D's on DP where he is curently living.
We drank wine and chatted to a few bros.
Talked to a few girls who had the most glossy eyes and were clearly not in any clear state of mind.
Pushed my way through crowds of college students who live for the weekend while avoiding scuffing any shoes and holding my breath through the plumes of cigarette smoke that sifted above their all too done up hair.
Watched the moon's spotlight on the ocean.
And smiled all the while....

We walked DP and ran into people we knew....
strangely enough many being ones i had met my first weekend in iv.
I even stood for a few moments in a cirlce with a couple of former fontainbleu-ians as well as a former RA.
We got yelled at...we yelled.
We lied and laughed and walked that endless circle that is Isla Vista.

I thought, at the end of it, that I would feel some how complete...or at least different from my first weekend experience here, but I found myself in a similar state of being...
Quietly smiling while observing such a unique environment.
Knowing none of this is for me...but the time spent here was not wasted and would never be regreted.
Such a unique environment.

It is one big circle...IV.
Beginning sometime on a thursday evening at the 65 block of Del Playa Dr. and ending sometime early monday morning in a darkly lit room down on the 68 block of some ambiguous street.

It never ends.... due to its size and demographic this circle is constant and in many cases, the only one available. And that is perfectly fine. That is it's purpose.

Coming full circle is an interesting expereince.

Relearning what you already knew...
Watching what you have seen a million times before....
and realizing that we are still people sharing the same human experience...
And whether that experience is in Draper Utah...Westwood LA..or Isla Vista California, the point is that you live it, learn from it and realize it's significance in your own development.

:)
last night was hella tight broseph....

On Meeting New People or The Poor Man's Song

one.....two.....three....four....
the steps youve left on me, in me, forever.
without you.
take my word and break my name
ill never meet another you again. a you who i love so dear.
our fluid remarks never stopping for more than a few flickering moments
and in our glance we come to find the truth witihin forever.
with you.
i would shake your hand...i would kiss your brow
and he or she or both would know that i love them now
and then again when the sun sets below my view.
not yours...
without you.
its true ill forget some but remember what i will
as will you if our luck lasts
without you
without me

you couldnt have left a better mark
you tried and tried and we still let go
and you will go and go again and i will hold on until my eyes close for good. or bad.
how mamy mes and how many yous?
the nows, vows and goodbyes make it all worth the while
while i know it cant never last forever.
it never does.
take this time to think or think to think.
at least one more minute will give you an editorial perspective
to cut and copy what you will. or would if i was still there to show.

thank you for what you gave or for what i took
in our glourious summer of our panultimate year.

yes, last. as it will.

in me
with me
and you....

the fall comes too soon and we all know the cold too well
and..well....youre not that strong

i think i love you
i think
i love
i



ill run with you
or after

just make sure you remember the blue in my soul
and the warmth of my understanding

ill never stop asking

What do ya do, with a B.A. in....American Literature and Culture

I have recently become conflicted over the overall practicality of my declared major at UCLA. Through this 'blog' I hope to resolve my recent issues through an in depth dialogue between me and I.

American literature and culture.

It seems funny and almost strange for someone who likes to consider himself a globalist to choose a major so narrowly focused on one nation.... A nation, might I had, that has never really been on my 'top 5'. True, I live here and consider myself lucky to do so, but the US seems...oh i dont know, sub par in comparison. The pyramids of Eqypt....the beauty of Greece...the history of Rome... the unparalleled imagery of New Zealand...
So why would I become so focused on one country (as to major in it) that holds less interest to me so the aforementioned?

Well, I do have to admit I probably would not have choosen this over the general 'English' had it not been for the wonderful and beautiful MEP (my American lit teacher last spring) for in her class I was inspired more than ever (well almost... nothing can top a good lecture on Baroque Italian sculpture and painting) to learn....and write...and be.

Literally chills all over.

I couldnt get enough of Elliot's "Wasteland"....or Henry James and his oh so clever perspective on marriage and the social classes... or Wharton and her fever.

Also, the paper I wrote for that class may very well have been my best.
So when I found out that UCLA had a specific mahor for American lit and culture...I was naturally hooked.

So now I am faced witht he practicality of it. What will having a bachelors degree in this subject get me in life? Aside more the all important feeling of satisfaction in my readings and writings. How will I earn a living...

Well i suppose I could check the college website for the specific major and see if it tells me my options...brb

-taken from the ucla major website-
"Majoring in American Literature and Culture can provide excellent preparation for a variety of careers including law, administration, business, and teaching."

Well that's not really what i want to do.
Aside from teaching...but that job is for later.
What about right out of college? Im really not interested in law or admin.... I just want to write and travel.
Be an author for the UN. Should I jsut get the general degree in english?

Let us test this question...

A.) Interviewer: So...UCLA huh? My son went there....great school. Go Bruins...RAWRR haha...
Me: Uhuh....
Interviewer: So...what did you study there?
Me: Well... I received a Bachelors Degree in English and a Minor in Art History.
Interviewer: Oh, a writer eh? Well we could definitely use one of those around here. Our last columnist just moved to Peru...something about his kids getting married....or maybe he was....either way...we have an opening and with an English Degree from UCLA I cant see why not hire you here and now! When can youstart?
Me: Really?.... Well....now i suppose.
Interviewer: Wonderful. Thats what i like to hear....youd never see that kind of enthusiasm from a trojan...

and so on.

B.) Interviewer: So...UCLA huh? My son went there....great school. Go Bruins...RAWRR haha...
Me: Uhuh....
Interviewer: So...what did you study there?
Me: Well... I received a Bachelors Degree in American Literature and Culture.
Interviewer: American..... Literature and Culture did you say?
Me: That's correct sir.
Interviewer: Him....well what exactly did you study...or do if you dont mind me asking?
Me: Well.... we read a lot of novels and poems and plays writen by American authors. We discussed America's influence on the rest of the world...and why America has attracted people from all over the world for hundreds of years for the so-called American Dream...and-
Interviewer: I see... and what do students in this major usually go into?
Me: Well...according to the college website the major is particularly appropriate for people wanting to go into law or busniess or administration or teaching.
Interviewer: Well, we are looking for someone with a little bit more expeirnce in writing and blogging and such...
Me: Well i did a great deal of writing. I brought a sample of my favorite piece where I examine the complete and total falacy of calling America a meliting pot because if you think about it the image of a melting pot is sort of this colorless, bland goo with no real substance and-
Interviewer: No i hear ya kid. And im sure it's great...but youre just not what we're looking for. Listen, my son graduated from the law school at ucla. Maybe you should talk with him. Here's his card. He can give you some good career advice. Just dont ask him for advice on cleaning your room. Hahaha oh god...well listen kid it was a pleasure and i wish you look. Go bruins huh? U! C! L! A!...

fuck i really hate that guy...and i completely made him up in my mind for a fictional scenario that didn't really work out in my favor.

Practicality...money....competition....
ugh what the fuck am i gonna do with this major?

It would be perfect if i could just fall into a pit of money. a million or two...that's all. Enough to travel and write something amazing. Something earth shattering...something new.


Maybe that's why i am choosing this major...
Maybe i am subconciously picking this major becuase through it i can examine my everlasting desire to leave America and travel and never come back. For as long as i can remember ive been reading travel books and magazines and imagining my life abroad.

Which is so different, i think, then what so many others want. They see America as the land of the free... a land of opportunity where the streets are paved with gold...and there's a palm tree and a sweet little tan honey on every corner.
What problems do we create through this sort of exploitation? What sort of false dreams are we creating?
Are we the land of the free? Or are we all really held captive to the belief and hope that we are?

It is a great place. Full of so much history in so little time. Such a very young country, America.
And the authors and painters have seen this...the intellects have pondered this....and politicians love it and hate it... and i have come to observe all of this in a way that makes me shake with a creative climax that forces me to release a form of creative flow unlike i have ever seen before.

I love it.

I always will.

And that is why I will major in American Literature and Culture...and find someone to pay me for it afterward.

fuck the interviewer and his lawyer son.

The Circle of Life

The G-8 Summit is meeting soon in Japan and in a recent anouncement by the press, President George W. Bush said something that I completely and totally....agree with. In regards to the upcoming meeting of the world's 8 richest countries the US President said that topics such as oil prices, the environment and an overall declining global economy shall be discussed; however the main topic shall be the current state of Africa. He stated "we will discuss the environment - i care about the environment - but what we need to focus on now is helping Africa, the world's poorest continent". If you know me you know that I am a total advocate for sustainability and helping reduce my, as well as others, carbon footprints. Yet, I agree with Mr. W in that what the world needs to focus on first and foremost is Africa.

I say this because I have recently come to realize that we are, in fact, not in a state of total globalization, despite previous debates and discussions on my behalf.

I submit that we have not reached a point of globalization until the rest of the world helps rehabilitate Africa.

Think about it....the very foundation for our very existence lies in Africa. Scientists have been able to trace the whole of human civilization back to tribes and families in our neglected neighbor. We have NOT come full circle to a state of interconnectedness...no...what we have done is travel as far away from our true 'home' as we possibly could. We have left Africa high and dry...depleated many of its resources...and left it to rot. Think of Africa as the home you grew up in. Then you acheive the means to travel abroad...to college...to work....to live. You travel further and further away from it, still dependent on many resources you gained from it...but you go as far away as you possibly can creating a new life for yourself. There will come a point, if you havent died yet, where you will have no where else to go. We only have one planet (so far) and judging by the current state of things, we aren't treating it very fairly.

This all may not make any sense. What I mean to communicate is that we will not live in a globalized world until we help rebuild our home. We simply cannot tackle issues of climate change and global economy on a nationalistic scale. These are issues we must all come together and fix by making a concerted and cohesive effort. We cannot make that effort until we have Africa with us. We all hear about poverty in Ethiopia, or riots in Rwanada, or political upheaval in Zimbabwe...but what are we doing about it? Not much. Not enough.

That is why I agree with the President. Africa must be dealt with and helped before we tackle the rest. We can still take steps to achieve carbon neutraility along the way but until we pump some life into Africa we simply are not as global as we may want to believe.

In other news....

I woke up fairly early this morning (for not having much to do today) and got online to check the news...an action that has become quite routine for me. Through my blurred vision induced surely by the exsessive amount of wine I drank last night, I noticed two shocking headlines. Headlines, in my opinion, that will change the course of the world...for better or for worse...in my opinion, though, more so for the worse.
First: One article stated, quite boldly, that this summer could be the first summer that the North Pole ice could comoletely break apart. This, beside being a clear and obvious sign of climate change, could trigger a plethora of unkindly events that could damage our world all the more if the proper action is not taken. First of all, with the ice broken apart new passages of travel and trade will be opened to the Northern half of the world. Ships could easily sail these seas to reach their destination quicker and more efficiently. Consequently, greenhouse gas emmisions caused by these ships would only worsen the problem of climate change in our atmosophere and the problem would only get worse until there is no ice left at all. Secondly, nations are already fighting over rights to certain resources there that could soon be unveiled. Most importantly...oil. This battle for the rapidly depleteing natural resource could greatly affect international relaitionships. Not to mention the rights for certain passages and pathways. Also, there is a significant amount of permafrost (vegetation under the ice) that will be brought to the surface. There is a significant amount of carbon stored in the vegitation and if it were to be exposed to the open air, that carbon would be re-released into the Earth's atmosophere, only to contribute to the increasing change in climate. Having all of the ice break apart also creates obvious issues for the wildlife that have long since inhabited these lands and could very well lead to their complete extinction. THIS IS NOT GOOD is what I am really trying to get at.... We cannot allow thissituation to worsen through poorly planned practices of trading and travel over this totally brand new navigatble area.
Second: NASA scientists say they have discovered an interesting aspect to the soil on Mars. The new Pheonix Mission to Mars has uncovered many interesting and new facts about our close neighbour...but none so much (in my opinion) as the fact that the scientists have observed that the soil on Mars is much more alkaline than expected. That being said they consequently believe it would be very possible to grow crops there. Now, steering clear from the obvious conclusions one might come to (aka life on mars!!) I really wanted to focus in on how it affects us. If we had the ability to grow and cultivate resources on another planet...we may very well be able to solve a global foot shortage problem. Now, taking into consideration any direct action would most likely take many, many years and the transportation would be a hassal and a half, I realize there are some obstacles to the former conclusion. But....it's possible which makes the thought extremely intriguing. However, lets talk about the countries with the technology to be able to reach this planet and grow their crops...do they have the obligation to the rest of the world to share those resources. Who gets to decide which country gets what? Ethiopia doesn't have the money or technology to grow asparagus on mars. All in all, this is an issue that will be very interesting to watch as it unfolds because it now brings all of our eyes outside our nationalistic point of view and makes the word 'we' much more inclusive.

"Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in"

"I feel as though I am waking up from a dream"

About one year ago, today, someone very special to me upon his departure stated that he "felt as though he was waking up from a dream..."

At the time I might have told myself, with great confidence, that I, too, was in fact waking up from a blissful dream of passion, love and freedom. Today I have realized that I have been still asleep this whole year.

We hear a lot of cliches about finding 'the one' and getting 'your happy ending',,,its a very pleasant thought for us human beings who live each day unsure of what the future truly does hold through our sometimes unintentional actions. I have come to the conclusion that both of those cliches are completely and totally temporary. Many times I have found the one. And many times I have encountered feelings of an endless happiness with another person. But how is it possible to say such things when we, ourselves, are continuously changing?...
I have given myself completely to another human beings in the comfort of that singular 'happy ending' image.
People change
But you know what.....so do you.
In the end we all get our happy endings because we have all accomplished the task we were all unwillingly asked to perform...to live. To live one day is monumental enough in my eyes because we all change someone or something during our time on earth. It is in that effect that casues me to believe the human life has value.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that I am lowering the value of true love becuase I know it exists...i have felt it unquestionably. What I mean to say....is that we will all meet the one. That one may be for the rest of our lives...of theirs...or for the rest of the semester. And in that relationship of wonderful, passionate proximity you will come to learn more about yourself than in any other instance and that is worth an ending...happy or hurtful.

It took me one year to realize that despite my emotions toward another human being...I, too, have been 'the one'.
in the end we are all eachother's 'one'. We all have the ability to create our own 'happy endings'...through our friendships...through our success..and even through our failures.

My life does have value and I do have the power to change not only the world outside of me...but the world within me as well.

My ending will be happy...and even though it might not be with the singular person I at one time would have hoped, I know I will look back at that time and have no power to stop that significant and unique smile. On my time with him...and my time with me.

Good morning.

A Matter of Perspective

How everyone I know may label/see me:
Student
Son
Brother
Teacher
Friend
Acquaintance
Gay
Straight
Bi
Intelligent
Immature
American
Foreign
Mature
Kind
Compassionate
Inconsiderate
Self-centered
Open
Lazy
Motivated
Cute
Loud
Annoying
Out going
Too introverted
Unique
Leader
Follower
Writer
Globalist
Actor
Observant
Creator
Depressed
President
Grandson
Cousin
Obstacle
Regret
Rich
Middle Class
Nephew
Room mate
Classmate
Old Friend
Co-worker
Dreamer
Him

The point: you really can be anything you want to be...and in most cases, you are more than what you strive for.

"All art is quite useless"

It is always an interesting and seemingly unanswerable moment to discuss the 'state' of art. There is one man in my life in particular whom this conversation always seems to linger around. Whether it be over a glass of wine, near a fire place, or driving across the Utah desert...the state and manner of art is a discussion which is sure to heard. Him, being of extremely knowledgable and exquisite rehtorical mind could argue any side of the discussion. Recently, one of these discussions occured and led to a plethora of interesting ideas and musing which each of us surely appreciated.
What artistic period will our generation be labeled with?
Is art still alive and kicking as it once was?
Is poetry dead?
What sort of philosophical teachings have influenced the world of creation?
All of these questions surely have more than one answer...and all of them really will only be answered in retrospect.
Which is what makes the discussion so interesting and yet difficult at the same time.
As an english major and art history minor my life is entirely based in art...both study and creation. As we continue to spin into a world of global conglomerates and consumerism it seems as though the days of poetry and tangible creation have begun to decline. This could be my own pessimistic nature or it could also be my ignorance to other types of art that, although are not neccesarily what i would prefer to see/watch/hear/feel, nonetheless have been created out of the creative genius of the people of our time.
I would argue that to an certain extent the medium of poetry is dead. That said i completely agree that as long as someone is writing it it still has some life in it. In comparison, however, it seems as though we have let it go as a human population.
We dont have time for it.
We dont care for obscure references or epic stories in verse.
We want to watch and feel action.
We want to be completely entertained through all of our senses.
Movies....video games....sports....
Poetry and classic art have seen better days.
Dont get me wrong... I will do all that i can to keep up the spirit of creation in my work. I will continue to write poetry and romantic (meaning not with the 'love' connotation) novels and experimenting with contemporoary methods of writing.
It just seems that in our general world we have moved on to literally bigger and brighter 'things'.

Things.......
The art of today.

Oscar Wilde once stated that 'all art is quite useless'
To an extent i would agree with one of my favorite authors.
He also once said that 'life follows art' in the ever lasting argument of which follows the other.
Now...what does that say about the value of our very lives.
More importnatly...with how we spend our time alive.

Do we strive to create for the sake of progress?....or for the sake of leaving your footprint in the future when you have turned to dust?....

A heap of broken images....

Labels and Love

If you ask almost anyone who has ever met me... fashion (or anything associated with it) is not what you would call an interest of mine. I hate shopping for...anything really. Things in general just drain me of energy, so you can imagine how i feel about skinny models dressing themselves in expensive drappery and strutting down the runway....
So then why is it I find myself interested in the world of labels when i watch movies like Sex and the City, the Devil Wears Prada, or shows like Project Runway?....
The writers and producers have somehow found a way to penetrate my material-skeptical heart and tug at my interest. Maybe it's just them doing a godd job...or is it becuase i have become inevitably closer to this world with my assoication with my LBGTQ community (IM NOT STEREOTYPING HERE but the ones who i have come to know have a knack for this particualr area).....or am i truly interested in it the same way others are.
I could never imagine spending 140 on sunglasses by Gucc-ior....and I cringe when i see others lay down their card for that latest 300 purse by prad-vutton....
Even as i sit here in my basketball shorts from kmart and shirt from some community organization i did years ago I find myself completely puzzled i am even spending time discussing this.
However, as it has become more of an interest to me and more of an occupation of my TIME here then Ive decided the best rememdy is through writing....
Maybe i just have abnormal buyers remorse. I hate spending money on things. That was probably intilled in me by watching my mother give countless dollars away to friends simply becuase she was nice by nature and then watching her get screwed over in the end.
Yet i cant stop that slight tug in my legs towards a brightly lit store with items on glass shelves and men in black suits stationed around the store and more mirrors than a freaking fun house...as of late.
Ive never understood the fasicination with labels or the interest in expensive ways to carry your phone or wallet or...dog...
But then again....mos tpeople cant understand my interest in lord of the rings, edith wharton, and early 17th century baroque art.
But then again....arent those creations and creators that please my eye? As i am sure fashion does for my fellow friends....
Well whatever the case, i will keep my strict line between what i want and what i need!
And i NEED those dior sunglasses at the top right about now...
;)

All we have to do

...is to decide what to do with the time that is given to us.

Simple: Possibly
Understood: Rarely

There are numerous ways in which members of the human race can choose to spend their time while they live and breathe.
I would begin to categorize people within these certain activities but I should initially lay out one of my biggest pet peeves and an action I strive to stay clear from: categorizing.
I have attempted to tackle such an easy human tendency as 'categorizing' things or people with care and a delicacte mind however it seems that no matter how we look at the larger picture categories only create greater disconnect.

All of this rambling truly leads to the honest reason for my creating this blog:
To create a connection through deep observation and reflection of the world around and within me.

I WILL write at least once a week.
Many times it may be structureless type...other times I shall find myself creating an all to structured essay....sometimes simply a list of observations. But I hope that you take the time to see how I, Thomas Robert Liam Michael Fitzgerald, see the world.
And I hope that you join me on this journey....
A journey that we all face, whether we realize it or not.